When it comes to love or respect, ideally, it shouldn’t be an either/or – but often it is.
My wife, the marriage counselor, tells me that for women, love is the language that says, “I care.” And for men, she says that respect is the language that says, “I care.” She has strong biblical backing for making these statements (Ephesians 5:33).
Look at it this way.
Love is the oxygen that gives a relationship life (joy, pleasure, fulfillment), and respect is the fuel that makes the relationship go (getting things done, moving forward, achieving something).
So unless you’re committed to living a life where getting anything done of worth doesn’t really matter, then respect is of paramount importance—whether it is at home or work.
People will give you grace and kindness if they love you, but they will only follow you and work effectively with you if they respect you.
There are two important components to respect:
- There’s “hired gun” respect (competence) – people will follow you not because they like you necessarily, but they know you will get the job done and that is in their best interest.
- Then there’s “statesman respect” – (character) they will follow you because you not only have competence but you are a man/woman of character, i.e. they trust you.
Combine competence and character with love and then…you have a powerful formula for success.
The ONE THING for today: Be diligent at being good at what you’re supposed to be doing and be diligent at being good at being who you’re supposed to be.
Do that, and whether people love you or not, they will respect you—and that is the starting point for progress and the breeding ground for love.
“A man can love his wife and his hunting dog, but when he respects his hunting dog more than his wife…that’s a problem.” _Wisdom from a Hunter