The ONE THING for today

Before you blow your top…

  • Matthew 5:25 (NKJV) Agree with your adversary quickly…
  • Ephesians 4:26 (NKJV) Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath…

Disagreements and confrontations are a part of life.  You may be one of those people who say, “I don’t like confrontation” but trust me—all confrontations are dealt with, one way or the other.  gold-volcano-eruption

You may deal with confrontation by suppressing it—swallowing your frustration and hiding your anger, but eventually your built-up resentment—like a volcano, will erupt and when that happens more damage than good is done.  In the meantime your unresolved conflict is robbing you of productivity, draining the joy out of your life and the radiation being spun off by the turmoil in your heart is silently and invisibly infecting those relationships in your life that matter most.  (Trust me, you don’t leave the caustic radiation of conflict back at the office or at home–you take it with you wherever you go.)

Better to deal with issues ASAP.  In his powerful little book Am I Making Myself Clear? Terry Felber lists eight foundational principles of confrontation; they may serve as a good reminder to you and a good place to start in dealing with the conflict that comes your way.  They are as follows:

  1. Anything and everything can be worked out.
  2. Deal with the issues at hand, then forgive and forget.
  3. Keep a low tone of voice and speak slowly.
  4. Depersonalize everything.
  5. There are two sides to every story.
  6. Ask for forgiveness. Even if you believe you were right and the other person was wrong in a disagreement, you can certainly say with sincerity, “I’m sorry if I upset you. That was never my intention.”
  7. Never discuss issues of potential conflict on the phone. (And I could add: email and social media)
  8. Never talk about anything important when you’re tired.


2 thoughts on “Before you blow your top…

  1. I needed to hear this! Satan almost destroyed our opportunity to have “see you at the pole” tomorrow at school! Something got blown way out of proportion and we had to cancel it. (And This is where the confrotation part helped).
    However, JOY comes in the morning and God spoke to me this morning in my quiet time and we are having “see you at the pole in my front yard” (a few houses from the school)!
    This is what God showed me this morning: it was titled: working for goodness and justice! 1 Corinthians 15:58: be steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in The Lord, for as much as ye know that your labour is not in vain in The Lord. The commentary from my bible says this: Paul said that because of the resurrection, NOTHING we do is wasted. Sometimes we become apathetic about serving The Lord because we don’t see any results. KNOWING that Christ has won the ultimate victory should affect the way we live right now. DON’T LET DISCOURAGEMENT OVER AN APPARENT LACK OF RESULTS KEEP YOU FROM DOING THE WORK OF THE LORD. DO THE GOOD THAT YOU HAVE OPPORTUNITY TO DO, KNOWING YOUR WORK WILL HAVE ETERNAL RESULTS!
    That should be our goal! My God doesn’t belong in a box!!

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