- Matthew 5:25 (NKJV) Agree with your adversary quickly…
- Ephesians 4:26 (NKJV) Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath…
You may deal with confrontation by suppressing it—swallowing your frustration and hiding your anger, but eventually your built-up resentment—like a volcano, will erupt and when that happens more damage than good is done. In the meantime your unresolved conflict is robbing you of productivity, draining the joy out of your life and the radiation being spun off by the turmoil in your heart is silently and invisibly infecting those relationships in your life that matter most. (Trust me, you don’t leave the caustic radiation of conflict back at the office or at home–you take it with you wherever you go.)
Better to deal with issues ASAP. In his powerful little book Am I Making Myself Clear? Terry Felber lists eight foundational principles of confrontation; they may serve as a good reminder to you and a good place to start in dealing with the conflict that comes your way. They are as follows:
- Anything and everything can be worked out.
- Deal with the issues at hand, then forgive and forget.
- Keep a low tone of voice and speak slowly.
- Depersonalize everything.
- There are two sides to every story.
- Ask for forgiveness. Even if you believe you were right and the other person was wrong in a disagreement, you can certainly say with sincerity, “I’m sorry if I upset you. That was never my intention.”
- Never discuss issues of potential conflict on the phone. (And I could add: email and social media)
- Never talk about anything important when you’re tired.
- Be At Peace With One Another (perfectlov.wordpress.com)