Blog for the Week of October 24, 2010

My dearly loved PEPpers and far flung family and friends,

If you will indulge me a bit this evening, I am going to veer from my usual format and discuss the central theme in Kempsville this week and that is the death of my dearly loved and respected father-in-law, Mr. Samuel Edward Knight.

This past Tuesday morning I received a call from my mother-in-law informing Sonja and me that Sam had taken a decided turn for the worse and that his home-going appeared to be soon.  Some seventy-eight hours later, around 4:30 p.m. on Friday afternoon, Sam slipped from his Alzheimer’s ravaged body and mind into full lucidity and vitality.  For that I am eternally thankful.

When I reflect back on the thirty-three+ years that I have known Sam I can honestly say that I have no bad memories.  He was a man of impeccable integrity and Christian character.  A man highly honored and respected in his community, church and home.

I am thankful for the balance that he brought to my life.  Having been born in a minister’s home and then being in the ministry all my adult life it was easy for me to see life from the perspective of the pulpit.  Sam helped me to see life from the perspective of the pew.  Our hours of discussion about life – working at the textile mill where he was employed – reminded me of the hard labor that goes into the tithes and offerings that supported my labor.

Our conversations about the difficulties and issues he had as the plant engineer of the textile mill where he was employed and the breakdowns, personnel problems, government regulations and the myriad other struggles he had, was a reminder to me to make sure that the high and lofty principles I preached on Sunday could be put into practice in “real life” on Monday.

Another thing that I respected about Sam was the way he honored his pastors.  Over the years that I have been in the family Sam has had six pastors.  As you can imagine, with that many pastors over that many years there would be times that the members would be tempted to do a little “arm-chair” quarterbacking when it came to the decisions that the Pastor (or “Preacher” as they say in Six Mile) would make.  But never once do I recall Sam making a disparaging statement about one of his pastors; and he was often on the Church & Pastor’s Council and knew more than most members would know.  He always supported them and honored them.  He was a faithful tither and church attender (every time the doors were open).  He used his talents faithfully for the benefit of the church Monday – Sunday.  Hidden behind the sheetrock and paneling of the Gap Hill Church of God are hours of work that he contributed as an electrician and plumber and anything else that needed to be done.  And every service, as long as he was able, you’d find him in the band section playing his lap steel-guitar.  Yes, Sam was the kind of member that pastor’s dream about and I respect him highly for it.

But above all I respect Sam for how he interacted with his family.   Without complaint he was a diligent provider for a home that included a wife and three daughters (no wonder he lost his mind! J).  As you can imagine, a home with that much estrogen could get a little turbulent from time to time, but Sam somehow managed to stay calm (99.9% of the time J) and keep everyone headed in the right direction.   The end result was that he died loved and cherished by a devoted wife and three daughters.

I am especially thankful for the relationship he had with his middle daughter, my wife.  Sonja and I have had a wonderful marriage of 32+ years that is only getting better and I can attribute so much of that with the healthy relationship Sonja has had with her father.  So many women struggle with relating to God and to men because of bad relationships with their fathers.  Sonja has never had that trouble.  Because her earthy father was such a tender and loving man of God I am blessed with a wonderful Christian wife who loves her Father God and loves me her husband.

I didn’t realize the significance at the time, but the day Sam gave Sonja to me was the best day of my life outside of salvation.  He gave me an emotionally and spiritually healthy soul mate.  That was a reflection to a great degree on him and I am forever grateful.  Someday I will face Sonja’s Heavenly Father and earthy father and I am determined to be a good steward of the trust they put in me.

The last decade has been tough; Sam had Alzheimer’s for around twelve years.  It has been said that Alzheimer’s is “the long good bye” and we have been saying good bye to Sam for almost twelve years.

In closing I leave a few lessons I observed from this long good bye.

First, life moves on whether you’re involved or not.  Don’t get too upset about the everyday things of life; they’re not really that important.

Second, whatever you do, do it for the right reasons because most people will forget what you’ve done and who you are.

Third, in the final analysis, all a man has is his name; make sure it is an honored one.

Fourth, in the end, the people who will be around you when you die will probably be family; don’t neglect them while you’re living and have your mind.

Fifth, I’ll never in this life understand why God allows Alzheimer’s.  I’ll never understand why in this life good men and women have to go through things like Sam did.  But as long as I look at life with an eternal perspective I have hope.

I am so thankful that above all, Samuel E. Knight was a man fully devoted to Jesus Christ.  Therefore, no matter how long the good bye was, there will come a day when Sam and I will meet again in a far better land where there will never be sickness, sorrow and the wearying labors and worries that weigh us down in this life.   For that I am eternally thankful.

On the route that Sonja and I take to get from Fort Mill to Anderson, where Sam spent that last five or so years of his life, there is a large graveyard on the right.  On the other side of the road there is a little used car lot named “Rapture View Used Cars”.   Whoever owns that used car business gets it.  No matter how long the good bye, there will come a glad reunion day for all those in Christ!  So until that day, all of us that have loved ones on the other side will wait…but with hope.

Good bye for now Sam,

david